Poker.

I thought this would be the most appropriate post possible at this wealthy moment of time. Over the last week I have won £260 from a mere £17, playing the classic card game, Texas hold 'em. Want to know my secret?

Suck.

My.

Dick.

No, no, fellatio isn't really the key to my success. It's all about self-control, don't blow your load till you're sure its going to reward you. A lot of people think the most important playing components of poker are luck and the art of bluffing. You're only lucky so often and bluffing will get you nowhere if you're hand is up against a stronger hand due to an seemingly divine intervention of luck. You have to know when to give up. Most players I have played lately have played their heart out with a weaker hand because they had become so delusional with what potential they had only to find out the table cards had epically betrayed their faith. They subconsciously knew that they were going to loose but did not have the self-control to pull out before it was too late. Hence, I won. If I was dealt AA, and the table cards were really ugly and one of my opponents bets heavily, I'm am almost certain they have a better hand than me, therefore I fold. Its like turning down a threesome with the Olsen twins, only to find out they had AIDS anyway; such a relief.

Thankyou for reading 'Moorcock's guide to not blowing your load all at once'.

I just blew my first blog load...

Ah christ...blogging was the last thing on my mind, but seeing as pretty much all of my friends are, I thought i'd give it a shot.

I am so fucking happy here, after years of torment I am on easy street, I've never been more determined to do well, dang, I've even started my end of semester essays. That's probably as serious and reflective as I'm ever going to be on this thing. So here's a funny story to pass the time.

I come from a spawn of Moorcock's, laugh it up. I am. As requested, heres a story of the youngest of the lot, Isaac. Isaac seems like a nice boy, but give him two cans of cider, an attic and a young girl, you get a modern day Jack the Ripper. You see, I'd never imagine myself being associated with a mild rapist, let alone related to one. I won't go into details, but young Isaac stuck his digits in the holiest of holies without prior consent. This was at a friend of his sporting the surname 'Mann', that's one syllable away from 'Manson'. Parallel much? I don't want my brother associating with these people, they introduced Isaac to marijuana before i'd even taken my first toke. I bet they're black too.* These little mishaps have me wonder of the many dark secrets people possess. I really hate them, they shouldn't be committed in the first place to even qualify as secrets. The only thing I'm guilty of is a bi-daily visit to Spankwire, and that's fully broadcasted. Errrr, serious alert. I like my friends, especially the one with a hole in his sack. I like music, and I'd like other people to like my music, it's really beautiful and cathartic.

Here's the facial; I used to collect Beanie Babies.

*Nothing in this blog should be taken seriously.

Two.

Now this is a story of about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute

Just sit right there

I'll tell you how I........ended up at Brookes doing a Film/History degree.

Mhuhahaha, well I couldn't really think of a valid topic to discuss, or connect with my thoughts and feelings, so I thought a miniature autobiography will do. Two years ago, my current situation would seem like a complete polar to what I was planning back then. My original plan was to become a 'Clinical Physiologist', sounds technical but really its just carrying out the gritty processes Doctors only have to look at on paper. I think my inspiration came from being in hospital myself for so long, I had a good perception of the vulnerability of patients and the workings of some medical procedures. I was pretty determined and spent a long time preparing for four years of training. But I FAILED. Undeterred, I then decided to attempt to try the Air Traffic Control profession, I think my motivation was a quick buck, they are so overpaid for what is, effectively, a glorified game of Tetris. I FAILED that too, bummer? Point is, both of these FAILURES gave birth to one SUCCESS, which is right here, right now. I'd thought I'd concentrate on my favourite academic study and my favourtie past time. Loyal disciple of fate or fickle fuck?