Poker.

I thought this would be the most appropriate post possible at this wealthy moment of time. Over the last week I have won £260 from a mere £17, playing the classic card game, Texas hold 'em. Want to know my secret?

Suck.

My.

Dick.

No, no, fellatio isn't really the key to my success. It's all about self-control, don't blow your load till you're sure its going to reward you. A lot of people think the most important playing components of poker are luck and the art of bluffing. You're only lucky so often and bluffing will get you nowhere if you're hand is up against a stronger hand due to an seemingly divine intervention of luck. You have to know when to give up. Most players I have played lately have played their heart out with a weaker hand because they had become so delusional with what potential they had only to find out the table cards had epically betrayed their faith. They subconsciously knew that they were going to loose but did not have the self-control to pull out before it was too late. Hence, I won. If I was dealt AA, and the table cards were really ugly and one of my opponents bets heavily, I'm am almost certain they have a better hand than me, therefore I fold. Its like turning down a threesome with the Olsen twins, only to find out they had AIDS anyway; such a relief.

Thankyou for reading 'Moorcock's guide to not blowing your load all at once'.